Don't give up....

I was baptized since I was fourteen. After I was baptized, I had all of these questions when I read the Bible.

What was church like for the first Christians? What did Jesus mean when He talked about marriage and divorce? Where can I find this goodness that I read in the Bible in my world? Why can't I just believe? Why do I still feel guilty for my sins after I have asked God to forgive me?

I would read passages in the Bible and not understand. And I would ask my leaders in the church but they either didn't want to talk about it or didn't give me an answer that would satisfy me.

When Jesus told the Pharisees that they would forever hear, but never understand because they have closed their ears and minds to Him. I panicked because I thought that I would never understand. I remembered praying to God asking Him to open my heart and mind so I could understand.

I have found some answers to my questions by leaving behind the beliefs that I was taught and embracing a new faith. It wasn't easy and I was afraid of going to hell for leaving my church. I was going to give up until a priest told me to keep looking for God until I find Him. I am so glad that I joined the Catholic Church because I have found some of the answers that I have been looking for.

I haven't found all of the answers. Sometimes I think that I will never understand who God is, but I want to understand so I don't give up.