A Less Fearful Life

The Left Behind series used to scare me because I would really worry that I would be left behind in the Rapture. What if God decided that I wasn't in a close enough relationship with Him and decided to leave me behind in the Rapture and face the last seven years on Earth alone? The book of Revelations is really scary to read if you take it literally. In a way it would be a relief to die than to continue to live in a world like that.

I would watch movies with plotlines of a dystopia future and freak out because I would always think that there is some kind of merit to it. Even cheesy movies like The Day After Tomorrow and Million Dollar Baby. Or I would listen to environmentalists talk about global warming and be afraid.

Then I have other fears like going blind or becoming disabled. I worry about my husband dying and leaving me a widow or divorcing me.

Since I started looking for God and praying, I am living a less fearful life. For one thing, Catholics believe that we shouldn't focus on the future, but rather what we can do now. Sometimes Christians focus so much on the future because they don't want to live in the present. People who take the Rapture really seriously and give up their jobs and live in their basements waiting for Jesus to return waste their lives now. Especially if He doesn't return in their lifetimes.

Some of my fears are irrational, like the cheesy movies that I would watch. I realize that these kind of movies are based on the writers' view of the world rather than on facts. Sometimes writers want to influence the audience to think like them and they will exaggerate the movie to make their point. Movies are more exciting to watch and sell more tickets if many people get killed, raped, or become victimized and never recover than if there is no violence.

Other fears have gone away because I understand more about God. I know that God will be with me even if the worst happened. If He can be with a priest dying in a concentration camp, He will surely be with me. When God takes something that I love away, I know that He will create a greater good out of it. Somehow my sufferings will touch someone else.

Getting to know God is helping me face my fears with courage. My fears no longer cripple me and has taught me to put faith in something that can control the things that I can't.